Today is Baby Sister's First Birthday, and as she melts to sleep on my shoulder, her bare skin warm against my chin, I do what my own mom always, inexplicably, did on my birthdays - I remember. I travel back to the original birth day of this Birthday Child, I relive the experience. I grow misty-eyed at the part I was privileged to play in Creation.
One year ago today, at this time, I was deliriously happy, oh so sleepy, giddy with the adrenaline and joy of having once again successfully brought a brand new person into the world. She was screaming her lungs out, a mere 51 minutes old, so angry at those who had so rudely broken into her world of peace, and shadow, and quiet.
I laughed, tremulously, at her rage and bravado, my mother's heart wanting nothing more than to quiet and soothe her, to whisper "Welcome home. You are not alone. That, before, was nothing- THIS, her and now, this light, and sound, and feeling, this is Life, and I want you to love it, and revel in it. I made you. I brought here, for my own pleasure. "
It occurred to me, later, thinking back, wondering what being born feels like, and how disturbing and scary it nust be, that perhaps life, and death, and eternity are comparable. As Paul said, "We see through a glass darkly". Perhaps this life we love and cherish is like being in the womb. Death,like Birth, looms frighteningly, irrevokably, dragging us from comfort, security, warmth and safety, into...the brightness and crystal clarity of the Eternal. Now we see "face to face". Now we know our Maker by His face and His touch, and His voice, unmuffled by our sin, like Princess now knows me, ans sleeps securely against me.
She will never again long for the womb, which from her new point of view seems so dfark, muffling, confining. Perhaps, when we, too, have heard the loving "Welcome home.
You are not alone. I made you and I love you. Welcome to LIFE", we shall not look back, either.
Happy First Birthday of many, Baby Sister. I am looking forward to my own Birth Day in a whole new way, now.
